The Unspoken Pressure to Hide Natural Hair... Wigs, Braids, or Straight Hair?

Jenn C 06/04/2025

Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic

I’ve spent years trying to figure out how to care for my natural hair... not because I didn’t want to love it the way it is, but because everything around me quietly taught me that I shouldn’t.

The bigger issue? There’s just so much inaccurate and unrealistic information out there about how our hair should behave. From YouTube tutorials that only show one “type” of 4C, to products that promise curls that magically fall into place, to influencers with perfectly defined twist-outs that somehow never frizz... it becomes nearly impossible to know what’s real. You start questioning whether your hair is healthy just because it doesn’t act like someone else’s. And you end up stuck between what your hair actually needs and what everyone says it should look like.

For those unfamiliar, 4C is a hair type known for its tight, zig-zag curls and maximum shrinkage. It’s beautiful and full of volume, but it’s also the most misunderstood. It doesn’t form ringlets without a lot of manipulation, and for many of us, it thrives best when left alone .... even if that doesn’t look “Instagram-ready.” Even at the salon... the one place that should understand our hair... I’ve seen stylists wearing wigs. Not for fun or personal expression, but because they don’t feel confident wearing their natural hair. When even professionals aren’t proud of their texture, what message does that send? What hope does that leave for women of African descent?

We're taught... both directly and subtly... that we should wear wigs or braids to hide our hair, even when it’s been proven that these styles can cause traction alopecia when overused. I understand giving your hair a break now and then to reduce manipulation, but how do you take down your protective style when everyone around you is used to seeing you in it? When the look they admire most is the one that hides the hair you’re trying to protect?

That’s how we learn that hiding our hair is the default... even when it’s uncomfortable or damaging. That “neat” and “professional” means something that looks nothing like the way our hair naturally grows.

I once paid $300 for a salon visit just to ask for a haircut... not a style, not a treatment. Because I couldn’t trust anyone to style my coils without leaving them tangled and over-manipulated. Finger coils might look cute at first, but the tangling and shrinkage afterward? It can take days to recover. And I always leave wondering... Why is it so hard to find someone who can work with my hair as it is?

I’m struggling.

I’m struggling to feel confident with hair that doesn’t “show” its length.

I’m struggling to find products that actually work for my real texture... not the marketing version.

I’m struggling to accept that frizz, shrinkage, and puffiness are not signs of failure... they’re signs that my hair is actually healthy.

And I know I’m not alone in this.

Everyone loves to say “embrace your natural hair”... but that love often comes with unspoken conditions: as long as it’s defined, soft, long, and perfectly styled. So when your coils don’t fit that mold, it’s easy to feel like you’re doing something wrong.

But I’m not doing anything wrong.

I’m choosing health over performance, simplicity over pressure, and my real texture over chasing curl patterns I was never meant to have.

Some days that feels empowering.

Other days, it feels lonely and exhausting.

But I believe health should always be the priority. I want more of us to feel safe wearing our hair without needing to explain or defend it. And if you're in this too... navigating misinformation, pressure, myths, and expectations while still trying to do what’s best for your hair... I see you.

The only thing I’d recommend?

Don’t change yourself to fit in.

Experiment with different products, learn your texture, and be patient.

The process will be exhausting... but it’s worth it.

Your hair is not a problem to fix.

It doesn’t need to be longer, looser, or more defined to be worthy.

It is perfect the way it is.

What really needs to change is not your hair... but the way society sees it.

It’s time we stop measuring beauty by how close we can get to a standard that was never made for us, and start accepting that everyone is different, and that difference is beautiful.

Let your hair be, and it will thrive.

Me!